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My great-great-grandfather's story

Oct. 8th, 2007 | 02:28 pm

There was jew whose occupation was that of travelling merchant.
He owned a carriage and buggy and would go from town to town
selling everything from tonics to clothes to tires.
He was known to take a lover in each town, even though he
had a wife and four children.
His wife was a protestant Christian, but had married him
because he had seduced her at the age of sixteen,
also causing her to become pregnant with their first child.

One evening, he ran into a large-breasted, dark-haired
twenty-six year old woman. After engaging her in mundane
conversation concering the weather, she began to ask him
to come to her home so that she could fix him some
soup and pie. He obliged this request and followed her.

Upon arrival, it was discovered that the soup had
been eaten that morning by her husband and the fruit
for the pie had rotted and gone soft over the past few
-Please, sir, sit down on the chair. I'll go look for something.

He smiled, bowed a bit, and sat at the dinner table, arms
crossed over his chest, leaning back and admiring
the carved niches of the cabinets.

She walked back into the kitchen, but she seemed to have
forgotten about the food. Carrying a candle and covered
by a silk gown, she lowered her lips to his, and they began
to fumble about eachother's body, entangling arms and legs
and entering into her bedroom.

A good hour passed and our merchant had gotten
dressed and kissed his mistress goodbye.
As he was leaving, the woman's husband was
coming home from work and noticed the merchant's
carriage and horse, galloping off. He went inside to
check on his wife, who was still laying in bed, panting,
her clothes strewn over the room. She thought it 
was the merchant coming back inside and called out
his name. Her husband, realizing what had gone on,
grabbed his gun and ran to his horse, catching up
with the merchant after thirty minutes.

Alas, the merchant was on a lonely road, miles from the
nearest town and the husband of the mistress knew this.
He climbed onto the carriage, being sure not to make
any noise, and aimed his shotgun at the merchant's
bald head.

Two shots rung out.

The merchant's body was discovered two days later,
but was not claimed by his family. They were
ashamed of him so much, that they threw off
their claims to the hebrew race and the mother
had all of the children baptized as Methodist

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(no subject)

Oct. 4th, 2007 | 03:07 am

Hear me thus and that thou might justly acquire the indererminite entities that have been encompassed in such manners as deemed fit by the national confederation of obscurity I do propose a lessening of all rights down to a tee so that all might be equal and equally free

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(no subject)

Oct. 4th, 2007 | 02:31 am

Rain. Falling.... Down my throat, open to shout Hello my love
But she is no home... I am at home, it is 3:00am
Thunder and lightning are making a commotion
Inside I find some seroquel take it and go out

Next morning she is beside of me
Late night out she had a flew flings smell it on her lips
She snores softly and I let my hands wander through
her hair She does not like it she does not

I wander a bit into the kitchen and find myself caught up
in which goes first the batter or salt? And which would
she deem to be my fault? Lisa oh Lisa the name of a fault
My debt cruelly paid and so dearly bought

I burn a few biscuits and my hands as well
Burning my hands off so they won't be in Hell
Sit them on the table and call Lisa come eat
She just slams the door and I just leave

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(no subject)

Sep. 29th, 2007 | 05:00 am



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(no subject)

Sep. 29th, 2007 | 04:53 am

I, Georges, have been assigned the duty of telling you, fantastic gardener[!], that the world in which we are surrounded is itself surrounded by infinite dimensions which have no names for the things that are hidden inside...

For instance,
I saw a book and asked a friend
-What is your book about?
-It is not a book!
-What is it?
-It is it is!
He would not talk to me afterwards.

Everything was black, green, and gray. Yellow stenciled lines wrapping themselves around the corners of what would be pages, but are not! It is all so interesting, so introverted, so keenly unkind and yet inviting.

Understand dear ones, the permission has been granted to me to keep you from going to Alcapono over the summer is in
linguistics a mess disaster and one can never be sure What the fuck am I doing here? T

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(no subject)

Sep. 25th, 2007 | 12:06 am

 Currently I am speaking to a girl from California. She has been married and is pending for divorce. Long distance, again? Do I need it? Is it good for me while I'm in this shape?

Ah, good question! The answer is: I will find out.

She's a sweet girl. Red-headed, freckles covering some of her skin. Nice, subtle voice. Punches back when I make a crack, keeps up with me extremely well. She knows Owen from Casiotone. Well-informed and will take literary recommendations at the drop of the coin.

She's twenty-four. I'm twenty.

I told her about my hospital stay during the summer. She asked what the reasons for my stay were. I replied somewhat hesitantly that I was not well. She asked how I wasn't well. I told her my mental condition had been on the decline for some time. She laughed and said it was all right and that these things happen.

Not the most original advice, but it's true enough, I suppose.

Jen and I spoke about two weeks ago. I'll always think of her as a friend, she's an exceptional human-being. It's funny, I pictured myself being extremely distraught at the thought of breaking up with her, but... it wasn't at all. It was a release, she released me from my past, from everything that was connecting me to the ground. Now I feel like a bird, fluttering through the sky, able to accomplish anything. Not that our relationship wasn't fine and dandy, but I worried too much and it was too stressful... I wasn't what she needed anymore and she wasn't what I needed. So things end and begin, it isn't as vicious a cycle as some would think. There is always rebirth.

Melinda. hmm A nice name, makes me think of Charlie Brown for some reason. The little red-head girl. My life has been a long, drawn-out Peanuts' strip. I am Charlie and am constantly laying my head back and "auggghhhing" into the air. I told her to come to Nice, France with me. She said "Nice would nice." Her last name is one letter different than mine. It is "Weese". We were born seven days apart, she on the thirteenth and I on the twentieth. I'd like to see what takes place from here. Who knows? Coincidences are hardly ever what they seem at first... it is only when you step away from the canvas that you get the picture.

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(no subject)

Sep. 22nd, 2007 | 03:47 am

It continues to surprise me even this late in life at how crude and cruel individuals who adorn themselves with the robes of a human-being can be I loved them all, do you understand this? Loved I told them that they had lifted me up and given me life I was naive to say such a thing, I am still a dying man One man lies dying while living and living at the least while dying I sight my destination, it is arriving soon I wish to go far away, to the asteroid B216 and dig and mend the garden I would have created, no human beings near me, just a few animals: a dog, a cat, three nightingales,  and a sheep Oh, humans Is there not a time in my life that I/ve blushed and shaken with fear at the thought that I was condemned to spend life on this earth, in this body, with these people gawking at me, mocking me and making me into what they wish to see Fear begets fear begets death, and they kill and suck the lives out of me, they wish to stone me for being so strange "To have never been born at all..." is my wish God has heard me say this many times, but has yet to listen I/m out, I want something else, I'm sorry, but it's all plastic Morals, personalities, relationships: they are all such thin fields and still men concern themselves with a lifetime of grieving over them all! It is all false, it is as you see and what you see it to be When I leave, I will never come back Dirt tread once before blows away and does not stay

Scratch it away and start again

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(no subject)

Sep. 14th, 2007 | 01:20 pm

All right, the following is fiction. The language is crude and the scenes are, what would be considered by most, very vulgar. That being said, it depicts real life in a city. It's not my experience, but someone else's. If you are easily offended or have a high moral standard and hate reading things that

I wanna wake up, he wants to wake-up, dreamin, dreaming, close my eyes and see, he does not realize that he already sees all he needs to see, it seems he is overlooking what it is he is after.

I was there the day my mom died They carried her out of the house and inta the ambulance car She wasn/t breathin, wasn/t speakin, wasn/t doin much of anything She/d had a stroke two of em, the doctor said her body couldn't handle it and so she died on the spot No hopes of savin her, he told me as he came into the waitin room I didn/t cry I smiled and said Thank ya, doc and left and went home Drank a few beers, smoked some cigs, watched a game on tv, popped some bennies out of the bottle and inta m mouth Cheryl, my girl, came home from work early asked You gonna say anything bout what happened? I said there/s nothin to say, it just happens babe, ya know? She slapped me on the back a the head and said I needed to get fuckin real I told her I/d been gettin real everyday the past few years She asked if I'd scored any today I replied not yet, but soon She went into the bathroom, took a shower I followed her in and began kissin her neck and tellin her what I was goin to do to her as soon as I did get some stuff tonight She smiled She always smiled I wondered if she ever thought anything, ever felt anything, or if she had become as numb to everything like me She was a simple person, never thinkin bout the big picture, never realizin what hell all of this shit was, just smiles and giggles and a few tears when some shit happened

It was five by the the time I went out to Joe/s He told me he/d just gotten some good shit in, told me I'd need to be a fuckin hero to handle this shit I stood place and told him to hurry up with it, gave him a hundred that I'd stolen off a maw the other day, grabbed the shit, and left

Course I shot up as soon as I left Felt like a fuckin bird Flew and flew all the way to to Jerry/s bar Drank a couple a beers and had six shots a whiskey I was feelin so good, so high, thought I might go check on m other girl Dana to see if she was up for anything tonight

What the fuck you doin here, you scumbag? She always called me that, always asked what the fuck and then/d jump onto me and we/d get goin for an hour or two then shoot up, then go again She was fuckin gorgeous, much more than Cheryl who had began to pack on some pounds Nice, big, luxorious tits, short black hair, curvy ass, tight little body Oh so fuckable, oh so fuckin great She was an animal  But Cheryl was too desperate, too simple, Dana could talk her fuckin mouth off about everything in the goddamn universe She was a bright bitch, went to a local university, fucked older men for cash, received some shit from her parents for rent She had it set Goin to school to be a massage therapist or some bullshit thing like that I always told her all of that was bullshit, she already knew more than the fuckin professors She just pushed it aside and asked how much I'd scored

After we/d fucked a few I set out to my apartment Cheryl was waitin and had fixed some shitty tv dinners She asked what the fuck had taken so long? I tolder I got held up at Joe/s, that he wanted to talk to me about some dealin jobs he thought I might be interested in She smiled and asked me ta show her the shit I did and she shot up She was a fuckin light weight She was gone after one shoot and laid down to sleep I figured what the fuck and decided to head back out and find someone willin to fuck a few more

The bar was fuckin packed Greasy mothafuckas all jammed onta the stool, screamin at every bitch that walked by that they could give em a good stickin to The gals laughed it off and continued They were college broads, thought they knew what the fuck and how to deal and swindle One came up ta me and asked if I/d buy her a drink I kept my head down and mumbled not here She smiled, grabbed my hand and said well let/s get the fuck outta here and over to my place I told her I had some on me, that she could shoot up, but she wasn/t usin my fuckin needle She laughed and said she didn/t that shit, that she kept it smart and stuck ta weed I told her she was goin to be a fuckin miserable bitch if she kept with that shit, it/s nothin, it/s a fuckin waste of money That/s not gettin high at all Fuck that shit, man Move up, move on She dug it and said what the hell, I/ll try it this time When we got to her place, she had gotten a syringe from some fuck and didn/t know where to stick it, so I helped her out She squirmed and let out a wail as it passed into her vein FUCKKKK!!!!! I laughed at her and told her to grow a pair She let out a faint smile and giggle and told me this was her first time hittin the shit I told her first time/s always a bitch and that, if she stuck to it, she/d be a pro

We fucked and boy was she a wild fucker Tryin all of this karma sutra shit that I didn/t know was possible She wanted to smoke some pot afterwards and I said, what the hell I/ll give it a go, so I did She fell asleep watchin some Tarkovsky film Tarkovsky is my favorite fuckin director Good shit Wish I felt life like he did Wish I felt God like he did The Mirror was playin I laid on the couch and fell asleep durin it Woke up at four am and headed the hell out after grabbin her purse and flippin through the billfold A hundred fuckin dollas Score me some more shit tonight, I thought as I got the fuck out a the bitches house

Maw had fucked my dad when she was sixteen Apparently she fucked a lot of guys back then, God only fuckin knows who/d be willin to stick that shitbag Maw and I never got along She was a bitch to me and I was a bitch back She told me I was ruinin myself and I told her to take the ice cube out a her ass I don/t cry, never have Maw dyin wasn/t a surprise to me One time I tried to take some money out a her purse when I was ten She caught me and dug her fuckin fingernails under the skin on my neck and tried to sling me to the floor The bitch had no fuckin strength and I slapped the purse in her face and went out on the street for a couple a days She didn/t come lookin for me, she just stayed on her ass watchin tv and gettin shitfaced She was gettin old and havin problems all a the time, always sick and bitchin, coughin I/m sort a glad she died, ya see, I was goin to have to send the bitch to an old folks home, the fuckers were gonna force me to pay for her stay there since she wasn/t considered old enough The bitch was fifty-three Had fucked herself up by drinkin too much and smokin too much and fuckin too much in her early days Now the bitch is dead So long maw

Course that might seem cold to some sonuvabitches, fuck em I/d rather do without all of the human race Bunch of fuckin assholes wastin time and fuckin

Couldn't get a hold of Joe Fuck Fuck Fuck Thought he might be at his girl/s so I tried callin there and she picked up sayin that she didn/t know where the fuck he was and that I needed to fuckin learn that some people have ta work in the mornin I hung up on the bitch Fat ass mothafucka who Joe was only with because he had forgot to take his dick out of her and she ended up pregnant Poor Joe I felt sort a sorry for the bastard I guess he was the only person you could call a friend a mine Had known him since I was five Sonuvabitch used ta give me so much hell I though about all a that shit as I walked onta ninth and saw some shady black guy smokin a blunt What the fuck man, I said to him, you know where to score any good shit? Fuck, man, he said, I got all the shit you/ll need right here He opened his jacket and showed me some real good lookin shit Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk I mumbled as I eyed it One hundred, man he said and his fuckin glowed like a voodoo priest or some shit like that I handed him the cash Was on a fuckin roll tonight, but figured I better save this shit for tomorrow night, might need it So I went home and went to bed

Cheryl was sprawled out the covers hangin off her ass onto the floor She was droolin and lookin like a fuckin dog If I/d had a chance to go back in time, I ditch the bitch when she asked to move in and found some other girl She was sweet an all but who fuckin wants that? Fuck her, man I decided I/d kick the bitch out the next day and find some other girl that evenin to hang around for a few days I laid down next to Cheryl, her mouth still dribblin spit onta pillow, snorin faintly I smiled at the thought of kickin her out on her ass and whispered Night sweetheart

I woke up coughin, burnin up, and vomiting my ass out a my pocket My arm was purple, the drag marks bulgin and swellin up, probably gonna get fuckin infected Cheryl made me some fuckin theraflu, but I told her to shove it up her ass What the fuck/s wrong with you?! she asked, a bit stunned I said, shove it up ya mothafuckin ass, you dirty whore and get tha fuck out a my place She began cryin and tryin to hug on me, I pushed her the fuck off and started throwin her shit at her She left screamin and panicin, calling me a goddamn nut case Fuckin bitch She was a drain anyway Never made me feel that fuckin great I enjoyed goin around every other night, fuckin someone new, shootin up I couldn/t see a more perfect life than this Course there was money I could get if I started sellin, but I/d probably get my ass swiss cheesed if I did, I know I/d try pinchin it short, cuttin it up and not tellin em They/d know unless they were fuckin kids then they/d blow my ass to hell

Fuckin stomach flu or whathefuckeva kept me in bed all day Had to call work sick Boss bitched about how this was my third time callin in this month, that I was an unmotivated bastard who couldn/t appreciate what he/d been given Well I said If you really think that, sir, you can come ova here and check my ass to see the shit stains, ya mothafucker Got the shits, throwin my goddamn brains out, and hackin my lungs inta the phone, you wanna fuckin say I/m doin this shit on purpose? He hung up He was a fuckin ragdoll, could break him in two I pictured how I/d go to work the next day and tell him off to his face, how I/d hold his hand inta one a the gears on the papapress and let the things take it the fuck off Fucker would learn then, fucker, call me a goddamn lazy bastard, all the bigheaded fuck does is whack off in his office and push a fuckin pencil Stupidass college mothafucker, thought he was betta than all of us factory workers cause he wasn/t doin any of the hard work, cause he/d gotten and 'education' I hated those fucks, I wanted to see them all roasted I went ta sleep with those images playin through my mind, me laughin the whole time
Cheryl called and left a message at three sayin that she had neva loved me and had only needed a place to stay and that I was a fuckin psychotic and that I needed help and that I was an addict and a womanbeata and that she/d find someone to come pay me back Fucker she couldn/t get a man to help her out if she letem fuck her in the ass She/d find some smalldicked businessman and leech off a him for a while I fixed me a can of tomato soup, readied my stuff, and shot up a small amount It got me goin Ice chillin through my veins, wakin me up, makin the virus not seem like a goddamn thing I called Joe and told him he needed to get the hell ova here with some more shit and that I/d have to pay him next Tuesday for it and he told me he couldn/t cause he and his girl were gettin ready ta go to some fuckin joint with some guy they were tryin to con and all a this shit I said fuck you man and hung up

I  see society, the fucks on tv and the fucks on the sidewalk All ants, all fuckin pigs Breedin in hot cages, fuckin till their flesh falls off, one big orgy and then it/s death It was shit, I knew it was shit I still dug sex though, still got off on the same old shit, but that wasn/t it I did it cause it was somethin to do, somethin to break the silence I had dreams, baby Fuckin dreams of doin somethin big, changin the goddamn universe, but for these fuckers? Why the fuck should I waste anything on em? The only thing keepin em from killin or fuckin me is some fuckin book or story their parents read to them when they were kids They all hate eachotha People interact to get off for themselves People wanna leech off and suck the soul out of others That/s art, suckin the soul out of a beautiful human bein Christ was an artist Christ was a fairytale hero though Christ had messed up when he decided to be a kind guy ta those shits They killed him then founded a religion praisin him Society kills it/s fuckin artists then makes them into martyrs So I said fuck em, I don/t wanna connect to anotha fucker, I don/t want anyone sayin they love me, I just want someone to fuck, somethin to get me high, and somethin else, but I can/t figure out lately what that is Ain/t fuckin companionship, that/s for goddamn sure and I don/t think it/s lack a spirituality I don/t worry about religion and shit In my mind, you are just already a part of God, God is with you no matter where you/re at in life and the closer you try to come to defining Him, imposin your own beliefs on what He is, the more further ya get We were put here, things are shit, and they/ll continue that way Do what the fuck ya can

Still was feelin sort a miserable and throwin my ass up, so I decided to remain on the couch, watchin some shit on tv

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Sep. 6th, 2007 | 09:21 pm

"The man who said I’d rather be lucky than good’ saw deeply into life. People are afraid to face how great a part of life is dependent on luck. It’s scary to think so much is out of one’s control. There are moments in a match when the ball hits the top of the net and, for a split second, it can either go forward or fall back. With a little luck, it goes forward and you win … or maybe it doesn’t and you lose.”  

Fate, Luck, God...
be on my side.

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going on

Aug. 28th, 2007 | 09:02 pm

mosque, hitting houses, fly-by-nights,  burkes garden, no response, losing friends, making friends, enjoying things, enjoying enjoying, television exploding, rocket science, france, la merde and jean vigo, music, french music, scum manifesto, dams, water, water, water, so much wheat, heat, humidity, death

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